I am leading a Grand Challenge, Stop Stigma Together, which is eliminating the stigma around mental health and substance use disorders. Founded at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute, we are now in our fourth year. I have had the opportunity to speak to hundreds of mental health professionals and researchers and learned so much about fighting stigma. This particular Grand Challenge speaks to my own circumstances because of my lived experience.
When I was 10 years old, in 1969, my mother developed schizophrenia.
We were very close. My mother had started her PhD in early childhood development and I, of course, was her partner. She brought me with her daily to her learning lab in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which looked like a big playroom. She did a lot of testing on me, so I associated testing with my mother’s love. That was a great gift, serving me exceptionally well in school!
When her schizophrenia manifested it was terrifying to me. The woman who had been my guardian and source of security in the world around me suddenly had visual and audio hallucinations, and developed acute paranoia. Our family fell apart as my father could not find help for her though he tried for years. I moved out of the house at 16, never to return.
By the way, my mother went on to get her PhD despite her illness. She obtained it from the University of Texas at Austin when I was 14. That’s my parents in the picture, getting ready to go to her graduation ceremony. I took the photo.
Nonetheless, a secure homelife was a thing of the past for me.
At 16 I felt only relief when I left my parents’ home. I was excited about finally having a stable life, free of the constant crises in my family’s world. Little things excited me: grocery shopping, cleaning my apartment, and washing dishes. I was enamored with my independence and enthusiastic about taking care of myself. To this day I enjoy solitude, as an adventure.
I love exploring the world on my own. This is one of the reasons I am comfortable camping in the wilderness alone with my dog. I love going solo!
It’s not that I don’t have a social life. In fact, my family is more important to me than anything. I count on our love and homelife for the stability I once went without. I have very meaningful relationships with my friends. These treasures are the foundation for my success in life. With that base, I love venturing out into the world (always to return home again).
My appreciation for being out alone is part of my personal success formula. When I have the chance for solitude, whether a couple of hours in my home alone, out on an extended trip to visit clients, or a week in the woods away from people, I enjoy being independent and a solo agent.
How have your challenges contributed to your success in life?
“Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.”
– Stephen Covey
